Going on a random, last minute road trip with my mom to South Carolina tomorrow because my aunts and uncles are incompetent jerks who don’t know how to do anything. Woohoo. At least I get to drive my new car.
I’ve had 2 glasses of wine and I just wanna go to sleep. Not write my 2nd paper of the day.
So, I never go on Facebook, and I went on it today and on my timeline saw my old crush who also goes to the same college as me but we haven’t talked in like 3 years but he’s still really hot and nice and likeable ohmygod I mean why why WHY aren’t your old crushes supposed to get ugly over time or something?! And he’s not even douchy so I can’t hold it against him. He’s still with his gf though so there’s no hope there but still it makes me feel like that awkward 17 year old that I used to be and just NO.
I’m constantly torn between the ‘be kind to everyone’ and the ‘fuck everyone you owe them nothing’ mentalities
- Woman: I'm smart
- Patriarchy: Well you're probably ugly then
- Woman: I'm creative
- Patriarchy: You mean unattractive right?
- Woman: I have all these incredible accomplishments
- Patriarchy: Yeah but look how ugly you looked doing them
- Woman: I have value
- Patriarchy: Not if you're ugly lol
- Woman: I'm conventionally-attractive & posted selfies on my blog
- Patriarchy: I'm so sick of these empty-headed chicks only caring about their looks. Just because you are attractive and get attention from men doesn't mean you are special or deserve respect. Why don't you read a book or do something productive with your life you dumb slut
Coming to terms that in 11 days I’ll actually be a grownup with a college degree is un-fuck-ing real.
I need to vent. And drink. Like right now. Right. Fucking. Now.
Seriously having a shitty day and feeling extra anxious. I wish it was Friday afternoon already so I could just go to group.